A Teacher’s Kid Does Online Learning

Teachers’ Kids have a club of their own. It’s an elite club, full of coupons, Groupons, bargains, eating out on half price meal days, trips to the principal’s office and teacher spies who know their moms or dads and report back to them.

There are no secret handshakes, dues, rituals or even meetings. What they do have is a club filled with parents who think travel, museums and books are important. There’s always an obligatory summer trip with the parents. The trip prerequisites always include available learning experiences and  some sort of a bargain.

For instance, my own kids whose travels have included a trip to a well-loved camper in Grandpa’s dirt driveway, a lovely cabin in the Maine woods with an incinerating toilet and cheap tickets to beautiful Puerto Rico on an airplane that went hundreds of miles west from Boston to Chicago before turning southeast because the price was just right. They weren’t too disappointed about the lack of TV screens on the seats because, well, they should have known.

The club also always includes fending for yourself physically, socially and emotionally when Mom or Dad is, “Done” for the day, tired from being on call with other people’s kids all day.

There are always snacks that you thought you could eat only to realize they were heading into Mom’s classroom.

Arguably,  the most important commonality that members of the Teachers’ Kids Club have is that they know well the Ins and Outs of the behavior line. They know where the line is and just how far they can push it before getting themselves into real trouble. Take for instance, my son, Nolan and a recent conversation he had with the dean of his high school.

Nolan was called down from class to talk to the dean (For throwing pencils in the ceiling, shutting off all school TV monitors, signing in to study under a fake name, stuffing a friend into a garbage can? I don’t really remember what it was to be honest.) After being confronted with his crime, my son made some sort of statement to the dean about how he knows XYZ rule because his Mom is a teacher. Apparently the dean snorted out something like, “Oh, teacher’s kid! I should have known.” Nolan now reports to the principal, who has more patience for him when he plays with the line.

The recent, temporary switch to online learning has been difficult for many kids and families alike. I’ll venture to say, based on my own experience and what I’ve heard and read it isn’t really working. However, as it is, we all do our best to make it work the best we can. We will get through. The following are snippets of conversations I’ve had with Nolan over the past several weeks regarding his online learning experience.

For the record,  I don’t condone much of the behavior, particularly the cheating. But being a high school teacher myself, I know what’s happening as do other teachers around the nation. Being online and being in school are two very different things.

My Recent Conversations with Nolan Regarding Online Learning

Nolan tells me, “ We don’t like, you know, actually do our work in class. We like, you know, screw around and play Minecraft and NHL Hockey.” Nolan isn’t even really much of a gamer, but he says he’s bored.

“We do hockey tournaments too, he states.” “Those are the most fun and when anyone screws up, we yell, “You idiot!”

Nolan cooks in class. First he cooks hot dogs on the grill. Next, it is French toast, which he’s never made on his own before. Cooking the French toast leads to burning the French toast, which leads to the fire alarm going off. Finally, the teacher has had enough and says, “Nolan, no more cooking in class!”

Nolan and some of his classmates cheat.

They send payments to the AP kids for doing their work via PayPal.

They Google, copy, cut and paste.

They point the camera upward and FaceTime each other for the answers.

Nolan tells me, “Mom, I don’t think I’ve had a single test by myself since this thing started.”

They fall asleep onscreen and take pictures of each other snoring away.

Regarding the screen backgrounds he and his friends choose, Nolan tells me,“I can’t tell you about those because they’re so bad.”

He relents and decides to tell me about one. I react in horror and Nolan tells me not to worry because the teacher couldn’t see due to the fact that their heads were in the way.

They’ve kicked teachers out of class on Zoom.

They’ve randomly showed up in other kids’ classes. At different schools.

One day, somebody apparently played sex noises in the background. The teacher said, “Who is that coming from? That’s inappropriate!” Someone yells, quiet your wife!” The teacher quits and leaves the class.

Now, as I said earlier, I don’t condone these behaviors. I’ve had conversations with Nolan where I’ve told him that I’m not pleased. However, I also have to say, kids are doing what they do. They are simply being kids. And at the end of the day, I think that this is obviously their way of coping. Nolan has told me he isn’t really learning anything and this is his way of dealing with it. He is making lemonade out of lemons and I have to admit that I am proud of this.

He longs for things to go back to normal. And I can understand why.

We’ve taken teenagers from the classroom where they learn together, talk with each other, build relationships and are guided by a teacher.

We’ve taken away their sports.

We’ve robbed them of music, and after school clubs.

Of hallway conversations.

Of sitting at their favorite table with their friends during lunch.

Of school dances

flirting

celebrations

and even graduation.

This isn’t really easy or effective for anyone. I know, I struggle with this myself, but what it’s really about is the kids.

Sadly, many kids are terribly impacted by this. They are bored, they are frustrated, they are angry and depressed. There are many kids who aren’t accessing any education at all. There are those whose parents are unemployed or underemployed. They may be hungry. Life can be difficult, they need to socialize and support each other. We are robbing them of a very special and important time in their lives, no matter what the reason and we need to be cognizant of this.

We are at a tipping point. Soon we will see kids gathering together more often. Inside. Outside. At the mall. At the beach, in the parking lots.  And rest assured they won’t be six feet apart all of the time or wearing a mask and we cannot blame them. This is human nature. Kids need to be kids.

While I do not condone these behaviors I understand that kids will be kids and anyone who thinks that either the social distancing or trying to learn on computers is working for kids or has a chance of working long-term simply doesn’t know kids or the families and teachers who love them. People need relationships. This is how we relax, we grow, we help, we support each other and laugh. You can’t get any of this sitting at your house on a computer.